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Ever feel like society pushes us to be happy all the time? Like there’s no room for the heavier emotions? That’s part of why grieving feels so tough -it’s not exactly an emotion people celebrate, is it? But grief is just as human as joy. It’s messy, raw, and yes, downright uncomfortable!

When we lose someone close, or even experience a big life change, emotions can hit us like a whirlwind. Sadness, guilt, numbness, blame – it’s a lot and it doesn’t always make sense. You might even feel like you’re going mad or losing your grip. Spoiler alert: You’re not! Grief doesn’t follow a neat, logical path; it’s chaotic, like a storm inside your mind.

See our diagram below to gain insight into the chaotic cycle of grief;

And grief isn’t just about losing someone. Ever felt strangely low after moving into a new home, starting a new job, or welcoming a child? That’s grief too – the loss of the old to make way for the new. It’s okay to feel torn, life’s gains often come with some losses.

The truth is, you don’t have to have it all together, pretending everything is fine so others feel comfortable – that’s not doing you any favours. When feelings are bottled up, they often resurface later, sometimes manifesting as anxiety or depression, which can stem from unresolved grief.

Talking helps. Whether it’s with friends or bereavement counselling, giving yourself permission to feel and share your emotions can make a world of difference. Grieving isn’t about ‘getting over it’; it’s about making peace with it in your own time.

So, let’s ditch the guilt about feeling sad. Let’s stop thinking we “should” be happy just because the world expects it. Your emotions are valid – all of them!

If you would like to know more about how our counsellors in Plymouth can help with your loss, please give us a call or email and we’d be happy to answer any questions you might have.

Talking to a therapist is a very personal and often vulnerable experience, so it is important to find a therapist who you connect with and most importantly, feel comfortable sharing your innermost thoughts and feelings.

If you are experiencing relationship issues, depression, anxiety, bereavement, addiction, or problems with gender, sexuality or identity, you might be considering reaching out for counselling and psychotherapy in Plymouth. However, we know that this can be a daunting process especially if you are doing it for the first time. At Personal and Relationship Counselling, we have an excellent, handpicked team of therapists who specialise in a range of different issues and approaches to therapy.

Here’s how the process works;

Initial Consultation
Visit our ‘Our Therapists’ page and scroll through the list of therapists to see if there is anyone you might like to work with. After choosing your preferred therapist, please book in via our online diary, or get in touch with us to set up a free initial 15-minute phone consultation.
This gives you a chance to learn more about how they work, and briefly discuss the issues you are facing to see how they may help you work through them.
This also enables both of you to get a good feel as to whether you will be a good fit and decide if you would like to book your first session.

Arrange Your First Session
If you are happy to proceed with the therapist you spoke with, they will set a weekly slot for sessions at a time that is convenient for you.
However, if you do not want to see that therapist, choose another, or you can let us know what you want, and we will assist you with finding the right counsellor or psychotherapist.
It is important to not just match your specific problem with the right specialist, but also someone who makes you feel at ease.

Ongoing Sessions and Support
Once you’ve agreed a time and date, your sessions will begin. You will come to our practice in Looe Street, close to the Barbican and City Centre in Plymouth, and meet with the therapist you have chosen.
They work autonomously with you, building a close therapeutic relationship based on trust and confidentiality, giving you the space to explore your emotions in your own way, in a safe, non-judgemental, warm & compassionate space.
You will then meet, usually on a weekly basis until you have resolved the issue that caused you to seek our support.

Are you thinking about seeking counselling and psychotherapy in Plymouth or online? If so, feel free to get in touch with us to ask any questions. 

Prospective clients looking at the Personal & Relationship Counselling website will notice that we offer both “Counselling” and “Psychotherapy”, and they might well wonder what exactly is the difference between the two. It’s a good question and as a therapist who has worked at Personal & Relationship Counselling for a long time, and has done both Counselling and Psychotherapy training, I think its one worth trying to answer. Furthermore, I think explaining the question could be a good way to begin to explore Counselling and Psychotherapy more generally.

In my view there is not a clear, obvious and definitive answer to the question, but I would suggest that historically “counselling” has been seen as a process more concerned with the present – with issues and problems thrown up by the demands of everyday world we live in. If you like, the world external to our own minds or psyches. For example, issues provoked by loss of various kinds; by sudden big changes in life; by work issues; by family issues; by illness, look at the impact of Covid on so many lives over the past 2 years. In short, the multiplying of matters that can make our lives more difficult, more challenging & where, therefore, counselling can provide help, solace and support, in dealing with these troubling issues. In this context, counselling may be viewed as being practical and perhaps time-limited.

In contrast I think that historically “psychotherapy” has been understood as a phenomenon more to do with exploring and understanding the internal world i.e., what is going on inside our own head or psyches. And, in focusing more on the “Self” trying to deal with the troubling issues that arise in life, its orientation was often seen as being more on the past, rather than just the present – on how our early life, childhood, may have influenced or shaped our characters, and the way we might deal with the world, sometimes perhaps in ways we have not really seen or understood. In this context, perhaps the process might be “deeper” or take more time.

But in a contempory sense, this kind of difference between the two has been challenged, sometimes to such an extent that the pre-eminent professional body, The British Association of Counselling and Psychotherapy (B.A.C.P) now considers that the terms “counselling” and “psychotherapy” to be interchangeable, a sea change indeed (although some other bodies, for example The United Council for Psychotherapy (U.K.C.P) still see some differences, and can even describe composite notions, such as “psychotherapeutic counselling”).

This may first seem a bit confusing, but in reality, I do not think it is. Both my own experiences, first as a counsellor, then as a psychotherapist, and the huge amount of research and evidence available, confirm that both “counselling” and “psychotherapy” can and do provide the range of the therapeutic interventions implied by putting the historical sense of the two terms together. In other words, “counselling” and “psychotherapy” are both concerned with The Past and The Present, and the relationship between them. We can only live in the present, and most obviously people come to counselling or psychotherapy, to receive help and support in the present, that may facilitate themselves feeling better about themselves, and more resourced to deal with the future ahead of them. Equally it is very true that sometimes exploring childhood and what has happened in the past can facilitate a better understanding of self, and perhaps the reasons why certain unhappy situations seem to occur regularly in life.

In that sense, both counselling and psychotherapy are concerned with the relationship between The Past and The Present and, similarly, the relationship between what I suggested as being the internal world (what is happening inside our minds) and the external world (what is happening in the world we live in). This leads me to suggest that there is a lovely symmetry dissemble here, because in essence counselling and psychotherapy are centred upon the construction of a relationship, between therapist and client, and the overwhelming weight of research evidence available points to the fact that the relationship between client and therapist is the crucial factor in making counselling / psychotherapy effective and helpful. The techniques and approaches, and models of therapy are important, but essentially, it is the relationship that is the critical source of healing.

This is certainly in line with my own experience, and that of my most trusted and valued colleagues over many years.

– relationship, relationship, relationship! –
The relationship between the Past and the Present
The relationship between the Internal and the External Worlds
The relationship between the Therapist and the Client

So, in exploring counselling & psychotherapy more generally, as I hope to do, it is essential to explore the nature of these relationships, the forms they might take, and how they can facilitate the solving of life problems, and the growth and development of the individual.

Les Parsons, March 2022

At Personal and Relationship Counselling, we offer couples counselling and psychotherapy from our private practice in Plymouth, along with giving clients the option of receiving sessions online. In our post-pandemic world, it is important that clients have a choice about whether they have online or in-person counselling. As a result, you may be wondering which type of session is most suitable for you. This blog post walks you through the different advantages of the two.

Online Counselling
If you are seeking counselling or psychotherapy for the first time, it is normal to feel slightly anxious, in which case it may be preferable to start off by receiving sessions online. Working with one of our therapists from the comfort of your own home allows you to feel more at ease and speak freely about the problems you are facing. It gives you that extra layer of privacy, along with saving you from travel expenses and the anxiety of visiting a new place.

Another important benefit of online counselling is flexibility, which is particularly useful when work/life commitments can make this hard to do on an in-person basis every week. Online counselling is no less meaningful and helpful than meeting face-to-face. The impact of the therapy, in whatever medium, depends on your commitment. More generally, online counselling is the best option for those with a busy schedule. It guarantees that you don’t unnecessarily miss sessions with your counsellor.

Face-to-Face Counselling
While many may feel less anxious receiving counselling online, others will see face-to-face counselling as the only viable way to make true progress with their therapist. Building that in-person rapport with your counsellor in Plymouth may be what you need to properly open up about your feelings. Seeing their body language and feeling their vocal tone is often a necessary aspect of feeling comfortable enough to effectively communicate how you feel.

Furthermore, if you don’t have a peaceful home life, coming to our private practice in Plymouth could provide the safe and dependable space you need. For some people, a counsellor’s therapy room may feel like the only safe place they know. Visiting the same place every week, at the same time, can act as a crucial psychological anchor that lays the template for recovery. This is often the case for young people, or people receiving help with PTSD and other trauma-related issues.

If you are experiencing anxiety, depression, relationship issues, young people issues, or any other issue that you need help with, feel free to get in touch with us to ask any further questions you might have about face to face, online counselling and psychotherapy.

We have been working with children and young people for many years, offering a safe place in which to explore the complex issues and emotional reactions to situations they find themselves in. Tracy Ede is our specialist who has worked with children and young people for over 25 years. Tracy joined Personal & Relationship Counselling six years ago and is a valued member of our team.

Young people are exploring the world and finding their place in it. They are forming identity, managing relationships and building resilience to the new situations they find themselves in. When things become difficult for someone young, it can feel like the world is collapsing around them. Not having the experience or the patience to trust in their ability to weather the storm, can lead to reactions that feel very frightening for themselves and their families.

The impact of the Covid regulations within education shouldn’t be underestimated. We have seen many young people who are struggling as a result of the isolation they have felt over the last few years. Social and physical activity help to form what we think about ourselves and differentiate us from others. It helps us to form bonds with ourselves, those around us and our environment. The opportunity for this has been missing over the last few years.

Young people can find themselves struggling with similar things to adults. What they are often lacking is the ability and experience to navigate their way to help and support, the insight to recognise it’s needed and the confidence to ask for it.

The following are some of the issues that young people and their families are often trying to make sense of;

Stress and Anxiety
At a time when life is changing quickly and there is pressure on young people to perform academically, stress and anxiety is commonly felt. Worry and anxiety displays in many ways: phobias, panic attacks, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), and social anxiety can be debilitating. Young people are often over conscious about how they look and how they are perceived by others. They often lack the confidence, emotional intelligence and self-esteem to be able to make sense of how they feel.

Family Problems
Family life can be turbulent, transitions and change are difficult for us all but especially for our children who can often feel powerless dealing with confusing emotions. This can lead to a withdrawal from loved ones as commonly they don’t want to add to the problems and their behaviour and demeanour can change. Parents understandably become very concerned and can also feel powerless. It is very important to parents that their children are ok and when they aren’t, all sorts of feelings and emotions start to surface, further adding to the tensions already felt.

Low Self-Esteem
As young people go through school, it is common for many to come up against problems within their relationships. School environments can facilitate an unhealthy comparison to others. This can lead many to believe they aren’t good enough and unable to express themselves in ways that support self-belief. A sense of low self-esteem can develop which can be further reinforced by social media. Young people often have experience of bullying and a feeling of isolation which can have a devastating impact on them, their families and their development.

Eating Disorders/Body Dysphoria
Eating disorders such as bulimia nervosa, anorexia nervosa, and body dysmorphia can surface as a coping mechanism against painful overwhelming emotions. They can be extremely worrying and sometimes life threatening. When they surface in our loved ones, the means to nurture through the offering of food is rejected. This is upsetting for all involved with the welfare of a young person. Disordered eating affects males and females but is most often reported in young girls.

Depression
Depression is the most common mental health disorder among young people, with research claiming that between eight and ten percent of teenagers experience symptoms at some point during their adolescence. When we feel low, we tend to withdraw from others and find it difficult to engage in social activity. Thoughts will focus on the negative and it can be difficult to feel that there is anything of value in ourselves and our lives. It is very worrying for families when a child loses an ability to feel joy and withdraws.

If you are a young person, parent or carer whose child is experiencing difficulty, please get in touch with us to arrange a free, no-obligation 15-minute phone consultation.

When relationships begin to falter, the signs aren’t always obvious — but the impact can be profound. At our Plymouth-based counselling practice, we support couples across Devon and Cornwall in understanding the root causes of relationship breakdown and rebuilding trust, communication, and connection.

Lack of Communication – Effective communication is the foundation of a healthy relationship — yet when it begins to break down, trust and emotional connection can quickly erode. Whether it’s frequent arguments, critical remarks, unspoken feelings, or simply a lack of daily interaction, poor communication creates a growing sense of frustration and distance.

Over time, this silence or hostility can lead to isolation and resentment. Partners may begin to feel unheard, unloved, or emotionally alone, weakening their connection and making it harder to re-engage with one another.

Unresolved Conflict – When disagreements go unspoken or tensions remain unresolved, emotional distance can quietly deepen between partners. Over time, these lingering frustrations may resurface during periods of stress, leading to more frequent arguments or an ongoing sense of disconnection.

Major life changes can further complicate communication. Bereavement, for instance, may bring deep grief that’s difficult to share — sometimes pulling couples apart rather than drawing them together. Similarly, transitions like children leaving home or relocating can shift the relationship dynamic, leaving both partners unsure how to navigate the new phase.

While conflict is a natural part of any long-term relationship, avoiding it entirely can cause more harm than good. With the support of a couples counsellor in Plymouth, you can begin to unpack these challenges, learn healthier ways to communicate, and strengthen your bond over time.

Loss of Intimacy – Emotional and physical intimacy are vital for sustaining closeness in a long-term relationship — yet they’re often the first to suffer when life becomes demanding. One or both partners may gradually stop investing the time and energy needed to nurture their connection, instead shifting focus toward work, hobbies, or other responsibilities.

At times, partners may grow at different speeds or in different directions. When this happens, one person may feel left behind, while the other begins to disengage from the relationship altogether. Over time, this divergence can lead to a painful sense of emotional distance, dissatisfaction, and disconnection.

Mismatched Expectations – When couples hold different values, life goals, or assumptions about the future, tension can build quietly over time. What begins as small misunderstandings may grow into ongoing dissatisfaction — especially if these differences remain unspoken or unresolved.

A loss of emotional connection, coupled with built-up frustration or resentment, can sometimes lead one partner to seek comfort outside the relationship. In some cases, this may result in infidelity. While every relationship is unique, rebuilding trust after a betrayal can be incredibly challenging. Studies suggest that between 20 and 40% of divorces involve affairs as a contributing factor.

External Stress and Life Transitions – From the pressure of job loss to the adjustment of becoming new parents, external stressors can test even the strongest relationships. Major life changes often bring emotional strain, logistical challenges, and differing expectations — all of which can create distance between partners if not openly addressed.

One of the most common and complex issues is financial stress. Once couples move in together or marry, money can quickly become a source of tension. Hidden debt, conflicting spending styles, or uneven earnings can foster resentment and power imbalances. Because finances impact so many aspects of daily life, unresolved money issues can lead to ongoing conflict and disconnection.

Conclusion – If  you’re facing any of the challenges mentioned above — or another issue that’s placing strain on your relationship — our bespoke couples counselling in Plymouth provides a safe, supportive space to explore difficult emotions, improve communication, and rebuild connection. We’re proud to support couples across Devon and Cornwall. Feel free to reach out with any questions or to book your first session.