If you are struggling in your relationship with a partner or spouse, it could be down to a number of different reasons. Resentment and disillusionment build up over time, causing a bridge to form between the two of you. By seeing a couple’s counsellor in Plymouth or online, you can get to the bottom of what’s troubling your relationship and move to a better place. This blog post walks you through five areas that we often explore when working with couples.
Communication is the backbone to any successful relationship, and failure to communicate properly leads to resentment and frustration. Examples of poor communication include yelling at each other, making nasty comments, not expressing how one truly feels, or not talking enough throughout the day. Over time, this causes isolation and loneliness, and both parties stop caring about each other in the same way, leading to a breakdown of a relationship.
Major Life Events
There are many events in life that change the nature of a relationship, causing couples to grow apart. Bereavements, for example, are often too painful and, as a result, lead to a disconnection between two people. Another common occurrence is children leaving home, or perhaps moving to a new location, which produces a new dynamic that many couples struggle to deal with. You can work through this by seeing a couple’s counsellor in Plymouth or online, but it is a process that takes time.
Lack of Commitment
Sometimes, one member of a relationship - or both - stops giving the required energy and time to their partner. They simply lose the motivation to maintain a healthy bond, and instead focus on other aspects of life that they deem more important, such as work or a particular hobby. It could be that one partner is moving through life at a different speed, which causes a relational divergence. The partner who is moving faster may no longer feel the need to put effort into the relationship and ultimately move on.
A lack of intimacy and connection, along with underlying anger and resentment, often leads to partners having an affair. When a relationship is struggling, people commonly refuse to stay with the difficult feelings and deal with them, and instead seek satisfaction from the outside in the form of cheating. It is extremely difficult to regain that sense of trust once this kind of betrayal has occurred, which is why between 20 and 40% of divorces are caused by affairs.
Once a couple gets married or moves in together, finances can become a tricky sticking point. It could be that undiscussed debt causes a large rift between the two of you. Perhaps you have different spending habits and financial goals. One partner may earn considerably more than the other, leading to an unhealthy power dynamic. Money impacts every corner of life; if couples aren’t on the same page when it comes to this area, problems are likely to ensue.
If you are experiencing any of the above issues in your relationship, or another problem that is causing your relationship to break down, we offer bespoke couples counselling in Plymouth that gives you a safe place to talk through difficult issues and reconnect with your partner. Feel free to get in touch to ask any questions.