Couples Counselling
Helping You Feel Connected Again
As human beings we are social creatures, from the moment we are born and throughout our lives, we need others and the quality of our relationships with others is vital to our sense of well-being. As adults we hope and expect our relationships to be loving and harmonious, providing the warmth and security that allows us to deal with the pressures and demands of life, and to feel valued and appreciated.
And yet most of us know from our own lives or from those of our close friends and families, that quite often relationships break down, or that one or both partners are living not in harmony but in states of unhappiness, frustration and insecurity. Television and newspapers constantly remind us that the pressures and stresses of modern life led to increased breakdown of marriages and partnership relationships, often with much consequent misery for individuals, their families, children and friends.
In other words, we may find in our own lives or of those we are close to, a big gap between what we hope for in relationship and what we are actually experiencing. And perhaps if we look at it, this is not really surprising - after all, a relationship is ultimately about two people seeking to live together, and each person will bring their very different life experiences to the relationship. They may have grown up in very different families, with different norms and values and expectations. Equally, we are all bound to have experienced losses and painful events in our lives, which we will bring to our relationships. At the beginning of our relationship these differences may seem small and irrelevant, compared to our loving feelings. But they may grow in time, especially in the context of the pressures in our lives from work, children, families and friends.
If they begin to grow, we may find our experience of our relationship changing - misunderstandings occur more often and good honest communication seems to shrivel in comparison. We begin to feel that our partner does not really understand us - yet they are saying the same thing! We are increasingly frustrated by their irritating habits and arguments occur more often; they never seem to be completely sorted out. Sometimes they seem to be about small matters, sometimes about the things that are most important to us - how we are
with our children and families, how we express our love and our sexuality.
For some the crisis is temporary, but for others communication really seems to become increasingly difficult, eroding all the feelings of love, warmth and security. Where this is happening, it may feel as though hope for resolution is fading and this can be where relationship counselling may offer vital help. Just as in individual counselling and psychotherapy, it can provide a safe and secure place where both partners are treated with care and respect by a counsellor who is separate from the relationship and the complex world in which exists. Therefore, able to be objective and neutral and creating the conditions whereby painful areas can be shared and explored rather than ignored or simply blamed on the other. The confidentiality and the security provided through relationship counselling can help to re-establish genuine communication, promoting understanding and realisation that with honesty and commitment wounds in relationships can heal.
How can counselling help you?
You might seek couples counselling in Plymouth or online for a number of reasons. Perhaps you are going through a crisis, or maybe you have been drifting apart for some time and are contemplating separation. Whatever your issues are, we have a team of experienced, friendly, BACP accredited specialists who can work with couples on a number of areas, which include but are not limited to:
Communication
Most relationship problems are underpinned by a breakdown in communication. Over time, couples often stop expressing their true feelings to each other, creating a gap that eventually feels unsurmountable and leads to both parties falling out of love. If left untreated, you will end up having the same arguments repeatedly and may decide to part ways.
If your relationship is heading in this direction, couples counselling can help. In a personalised, structured way, a member of our specialist team will work with you to identify why this breakdown in communication occurred in the first place, how it has adversely affected your relationship, and provide the exact tools you require to promote understanding of the other side and establish genuine communication once again.
Doing this takes time, and is never easy, but if both members of the relationship are committed to mending wounds in relationships, that sense of connection can return - and we will be with you every step of the way.
Intimacy and Sexual Problems
Many couples experience problems with intimacy at some point in their relationship and we have high levels of specialist experience in giving people the resources they need to rekindle their connection in the bedroom. We will explore the feelings and emotions lying behind these sexual problems, with an emphasis on recognising the interaction between your mind and body. Working in this way replaces fear and frustration with knowledge and compassion, creating the perfect platform from which to develop a way of moving forward that works for you.
To arrange your first session of couples counselling, provided in Plymouth, the wider Devon and Cornwall area, and online, please visit our booking system to select a time that suits you.
Major Life Events
Managing major life events/transitions as a couple is never easy. Life throws all kinds of challenges at us and it can impact the health of your relationship. A bereavement, for example, can cause a gap to appear between two people. You may be feeling stressed ahead of having a baby, or perhaps feel uncertain about your future as a couple once your children leave home. One partner may have had an affair, causing a severe rupture in your relationship.
In times of crisis such as these, couples counselling provides a welcoming, strictly confidential neutral space to confront difficult topics head on. Both members are free to honestly express how they feel about a situation, learning more about their partner’s experience of the event as a result. Your counsellor will then take what you have brought to the session and, in collaboration with both sides, come up with a bespoke solution that works for your situation.
Getting in touch
You are free to get in touch with us over the phone, by email, or using the contact form below to arrange a free 15-minute call. This allows you to ask any questions and decide whether couples counselling or psychotherapy is right for you - there is no obligation to book a session if you don’t want to. However, should you wish to proceed, you can use our booking system to select a time for your first session.
Want to know more about how we supply couples counselling and psychotherapy in Plymouth? Take a look at our Counsellors and Therapists page for further information on how our team of specialists can work with you.
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