Category: PTSD & Trauma

🌿 How to Reset After an Argument

Post author By info@plymouthcounselling.com
Post date February 25, 2026

We have all been there. One minute you are having a normal conversation, and the next you are in the middle of an argument that feels bigger than it should be. Voices rise, feelings flare, and suddenly the original issue is buried under frustration.

But the good news?
You can reset an argument – without ignoring the problem, without “giving in,” and without letting resentment build. Here’s how to hit that emotional reset button so the conversation becomes productive again.

💛 1. Pause – do not push through the tension

When things heat up, our brains switch to “defend, attack, or retreat.”
That is not the mindset for solving anything.

A short pause like, “I want to finish this conversation, but I need a moment to calm down so I can actually hear you,”
can completely shift the energy.

It’s not avoidance. It’s strategy.

🗣 2. Name what is happening

A simple acknowledgment breaks the cycle:

“We’re going in circles.”
“This feels tense – can we start again?”
“I think we both want to fix this but we’re getting stuck.”

Calling it out invites’ teamwork instead of tug‑of‑war.

❤️ 3. Return to the goal, not the drama

Most arguments go off‑track because we forget what we actually want.

Try saying:

“Let’s reset. What’s the real issue?”
“What do we both want here?”
“How can we solve this together?”

Suddenly, it is two people vs. the problem, not each other.

👂 4. Give each other space to speak (without preparing a rebuttal)

When you listen to respond, you are still arguing.
When you listen to understand, you are connecting.

Try slowing the conversation down:

One person shares their thoughts.
The other repeats back the key point to show they have understood.
Then switch roles.

It sounds simple, but it can be a breakthrough – completely shifting the tone of the conversation.

💬 5. Use reset language

These phrases cool down an argument instantly:

“Let’s start over.”
“Can we rewind a bit?”
“I didn’t say that well – let me try again.”
“I hear you. Here’s what I’m feeling.”

They invite a do‑over instead of a showdown.

🤝 6. Choose repair over being right

In the middle of a heated moment, ask yourself:

Do I want to win… or do I want us to be okay?

Resetting an argument is not about surrendering – it is about prioritising connection and understanding, so the real solution can emerge.

🌈 Final thought

Arguments do not ruin relationships. The inability to repair them does.

A reset is not weakness – it is wisdom. It shows you care more about the relationship than the rush of being right.

Here is to more calm conversations, deeper understanding, and better “resets” for all of us. 💙✨

Addiction Children & Young People Difference between Counselling & Psychotherapy Gender & Sexuality Grieving & Loss Marriage & Long-Term Relationships Mindfulness and Mental Health PTSD & Trauma Relationships

Change Often Starts Quietly 🌱

Post author By info@plymouthcounselling.com
Post date February 25, 2026

We like to think change arrives with fireworks – with big announcements, dramatic breakthroughs, or life‑altering events. But the truth? Most change begins in silence.

It starts in the small moments no one else sees; in the quiet corners of your mind where doubt lives – but courage grows.

Feeling the first hint of hope after a difficult period.
The morning you decide to try again.
The quiet “I can do better” whispered to yourself.
The tiny shift in perspective after a tough day.
The choice to take one small step, even when the road looks long.

These subtle moments are powerful. They are signs that something within you is adjusting, healing, or becoming ready for the next step.

Over time, those small internal shifts grow into healthier patterns, clearer boundaries, and a stronger sense of self. What once felt impossible gradually becomes manageable. What felt overwhelming begins to soften.

You do not have to navigate it alone. Counselling provides a supportive space to notice these early shifts, understand what they mean, and build on them with confidence. Over time, these small, consistent steps can lead to real progress and long‑lasting wellbeing.

The Power of Talking Things Through 💬

Post author By info@plymouthcounselling.com
Post date February 16, 2026

When worries, emotions, or difficult thoughts stay locked in our minds, they can feel heavier and harder to understand. Speaking them out loud – especially to someone who listens with empathy and without judgement – can bring clarity, relief, and a fresh perspective.

Talking things through helps you:

Untangle confusing thoughts
Understand your emotions more clearly
Feel less alone with your struggles
Take the first steps toward positive change
Gain confidence in moving forward

You don’t need to have everything figured out before reaching out. Simply beginning a conversation can be a powerful step toward feeling better.

If you’re curious about whether counselling might be right for you, we offer a free 15‑minute phone consultation. It’s an opportunity to connect, ask questions, and explore what supportive therapy could look like for your needs.

Compassionate, Personalised Support for Life’s Challenges 🌿

Post author By info@plymouthcounselling.com
Post date February 5, 2026

For more than 30 years, we’ve been walking alongside individuals, couples and organisations across Devon and Cornwall, offering support through many of life’s toughest moments.

We know that every person’s story is unique. That’s why our counselling is never one‑size‑fits‑all. We take the time to understand your experiences, your goals and what truly matters to you – shaping each session around your needs.

Our experienced team supports people with:

Relationship challenges
Anxiety and stress
Addiction
Bereavement and loss
Depression
Workplace pressures
Identity and life transitions
Menopause
Sexual health
Eating difficulties
Support for young people

If you’re thinking about counselling but aren’t quite sure yet, we offer a free 15‑minute phone conversation. It’s a relaxed, no‑pressure chance to ask any questions, explore your options and get a feel for what might be right for you.

Mindfulness and Mental Health PTSD & Trauma

The Rest We Don’t Talk About 🌿

Post author By info@plymouthcounselling.com
Post date January 15, 2026

We all know the importance of sleep. It’s the first thing we think of when we feel tired or run down. But there’s another kind of rest we rarely talk about – emotional rest.

Why Emotional Rest Matters

Life moves fast. Notifications ping, deadlines loom, decisions pile up, and the world hums with constant noise. Even when we stop physically, our minds often keep racing. That mental overload doesn’t just make us tired – it can leave us feeling disconnected, irritable, or low without really understanding why.

Emotional fatigue is subtle. It creeps in when we’re always “on” – responding, planning, worrying, performing. Over time, this constant state of alertness drains our emotional reserves. And unlike physical exhaustion, a good night’s sleep doesn’t always fix it.

What Is Emotional Rest?

Emotional rest is about giving yourself permission to pause – not to fix, not to achieve, simply to be.
It’s the space where you can:

Breathe without rushing to the next task.
Notice what you’re feeling without judgment.
Reflect on what matters most.
Reconnect with yourself and others in a way that feels nourishing.

This isn’t laziness. It’s a vital reset for your mental and emotional health.

Signs You Might Need Emotional Rest

You feel detached or numb, even when life looks “fine” on the surface.
You’re easily irritated or overwhelmed by small things.
You struggle to enjoy activities that used to bring you joy.
You find yourself constantly scrolling, binge-watching, or distracting yourself just to cope.

If any of these sound familiar, you’re not alone – and you’re not broken. You’re simply depleted.

How to Create Emotional Rest

Unlike physical rest, emotional rest doesn’t happen automatically. It requires intention. Here are a few ways to start:

Pause Without Purpose
Give yourself moments where you’re not trying to achieve anything. Sit quietly. Let your mind wander.
Limit Emotional Output
If you’re always supporting others, set boundaries. It’s okay to say, “I need time for myself.”
Find Safe Spaces
Whether it’s journaling, talking to a trusted friend, or seeking counselling, create spaces where you can express feelings without fear of judgment.
Reconnect With Joy
Do something that feels light and restorative – listen to music, walk in nature, or simply breathe deeply.

Counselling Can Help

Sometimes, emotional rest feels out of reach because life is too loud. Counselling offers a quiet, supportive space where your thoughts can finally catch up. It’s not about fixing you – it’s about helping you find that slower, gentler rhythm again.

Addiction Children & Young People Difference between Counselling & Psychotherapy Featured Article Gender & Sexuality Grieving & Loss Marriage & Long-Term Relationships Mindfulness and Mental Health PTSD & Trauma Relationships

Why we started blogging

Post author By info@plymouthcounselling.com
Post date October 30, 2025

Over the years, we have had the privilege of sitting with people through some of their most vulnerable moments – heartbreak, confusion, grief, and growth. Each story is unique, but many share common threads: the need to feel heard, the desire for connection, and the courage to seek change.

Blogs are our way of extending that space beyond the counselling room. Whether you are navigating a relationship breakdown, supporting a young person through a tough time, or simply curious about how therapy works, we hope these posts offer insight, comfort, and maybe even a sense of companionship.

What you will find here; We write about the real-life issues that bring people to counselling:

Communication and Reconnection: How small shifts in how we listen and respond can rebuild trust and closeness.
Grief and Loss: Understanding the many forms grief can take, and how to move through it at your own pace.
Young People’s Challenges: From anxiety and identity to peer pressure and family dynamics – we explore what it is like growing up today.
Relationship Dynamics: Whether romantic, familial, or platonic, relationships shape us. We look at how they evolve, and how to nurture them.

Why it matters; We believe that healing begins with understanding – and sometimes, reading something that reflects your own experience can be the first step. Our hope is that our blogs feel like a gentle companion, offering clarity when things feel cloudy, and reminding you that you are not alone.

We are based in Looe Street, Plymouth, and always happy to chat in person when the time feels right for you. Until then, we invite you to explore, reflect, and reach out if something resonates.

Addiction Difference between Counselling & Psychotherapy Grieving & Loss Mindfulness and Mental Health PTSD & Trauma Relationships

Fight-or-flight; our body’s automatic reaction to stress or danger

Post author By info@plymouthcounselling.com
Post date July 10, 2024

The Fight-or-Flight Response: How Our Brain Reacts to Threats

The brain is a complex organ that regulates many aspects of our physical and psychological well-being. It constantly processes information from our senses and the environment, and responds accordingly. However, when the brain perceives something as a potential threat, it activates a system that prepares us to stay and deal with the danger or run away to safety.

The Ancient Survival Mechanism

The term fight-or-flight comes from our ancient ancestors when they were faced with danger and had to choose; either fight or flee.

The fight-or-flight response, also known as the acute stress response, refers to the physiological reaction that occurs when we encounter something mentally or physically terrifying. Imagine facing a wild animal or an imminent danger – your body gears up for action.

Three Stages of Fight-or-Flight:

Alarm Stage: During this stage, the central nervous system ramps up, preparing your body to fight or flee. The sympathetic nervous system activates, leading to increased heart rate, your blood pressure rises and breathing rate increases and becomes shallow. Hormones like adrenaline, noradrenaline and cortisol flood your system.
Resistance Stage: Your body attempts to normalise and recover from the initial elevated fight-or-flight response – this happens in 3/1000 of a second in perceiving the threat, and we decide whether to confront the danger, freeze or flee. These changes to our body help us act appropriately and rapidly, usually, our body will return to its natural state after 20 to 60 minutes after the perceived threat has gone.
Exhaustion Stage: If these stages occur repeatedly over time and there is a prolonged sense of danger you will experience ongoing stress and anxiety and risk developing physical and mental health problems.

You are probably already aware of the phrase Fight-or-Flight but there are 3 other survival reactions when we feel threatened, Freeze, Flop and Friend which make up our defensive fear responses – also known as the five F’s.

When faced with danger each of the five F’s has its own hope for a possible outcome, that is to stay alive and depending on the nature of the situation, each of these defences reduce our being a threat to our attacker.

Our active defences are to;

Friend – to befriend our attacker in the hope of appeasing the situation
Fight – physically and verbally responding to the threat – showing aggression
Flight – to run away from the situation

Our passive defences are to;

Freeze – in order to avoid detection or you ‘just froze’ and unable to shout or call for help
Flop – to flop or feint; to minimise harm when you have no other option (as above) in the hope you will be left alone

In the modern world, that same mechanism can sometimes be triggered by everyday stressors or imagined threats. But understanding its origins can empower us to manage it more effectively. So, next time fear creeps in, take a deep breath, acknowledge it, and remember that your brain is doing its ancient job!

Is your counsellor a good fit for you?

Post author By info@plymouthcounselling.com
Post date April 16, 2024

There are so many counsellors offering a vast range of different therapies and approaches that it’s hard to know how to make the right choice, but it is so important that we do.

Finding the right counsellor, one who you can connect and feel safe with is important. Therapy can be a powerful tool for healing and growth, but only if you have a competent and trustworthy professional by your side. It can be difficult when we are feeling vulnerable and in need of help, to be confident enough to choose someone.

At Personal and Relationship Counselling (PRC) in Plymouth we offer a free 15-minute telephone consultation prior to booking a first appointment. Recommendations are good, but if you don’t have one, a telephone conversation can help and don’t be afraid to say ‘no thank you’, a good counsellor will be understanding – read about our counsellors on ‘Our Therapists’ page.

You can be assured that each counsellor has been handpicked, chosen for their competency and professionalism, empathy and compassion. We’ve checked their qualifications and experience, making sure that all are on the BACP Register of Counsellors and Psychotherapists or an equivalent professional body.

We offer a range of approaches and techniques to suit individual needs and find the fit that’s right for you. If we can’t meet your requirements, we will make recommendations of other trusted local Plymouth counsellors.

Here are some skills, traits and professional behaviours to look out for in your counsellor.

Good Counselling Skills:

Actively listening: A good therapist will pay close attention to what you’re saying and ask clarifying questions. If you feel misunderstood or unheard – that’s a problem.
Focused attention: Does your therapist seem bored, tired, preoccupied or disengaged. If so, you’re not getting the focused attention you deserve.
Addressing Your Specific Concerns: Therapists should and be able to hear your issues and understand the impact they have on you, and tailor appropriate responses to meet your needs. If they seem stuck in one method or aren’t able to manage with your issue – you may need to find a better fit.
Non-judgemental: Therapy needs to be a safe space to explore difficult emotions. If you feel judged or ashamed this isn’t going to help you – indicating it isn’t a good fit.
Working together: Therapy should be a collaborative process with your counsellor helping you to explore deeper and stay with the difficult feelings – rather than handing out simplistic, generic advice and platitudes.
Making progress: While you might experience some emotional discomfort processing difficult topics, you should generally feel some sense of healing and hope moving forward.

Maintaining Professional & Ethical standards:

Keeping to Appointment Times/Scheduling: Having a regular time for your counselling is helpful. Frequent cancelling or rescheduling of appointments by your therapist shows a lack of respect for your time and can disrupt your progress in therapy.
Relevant Advice: Remember that therapists should stay within their area of expertise. If yours is giving medical, legal or financial advice – that’s not OK.
Confidentiality: Counsellors are required to keep your information private, with some exceptions. If you feel your therapist might be gossiping about you or sharing details inappropriately, that’s a concern.
Respecting Your Boundaries: If your counsellor shares too much personal information about themselves, pressures you to socialise outside of sessions, asks you for gifts or personal favours or makes unwanted physical contact – that’s a red flag.

Trust your instincts: Sometimes the chemistry just isn’t right. If you feel uncomfortable or unsafe with your therapist, it’s important to find someone else, someone you can connect with. If you do notice any of the red flags and warning signs it’s time to look for a new therapist.

If you have any concerns, please feel free to contact us Plymouth Counselling (PRC).

Marriage & Long-Term Relationships Mindfulness and Mental Health PTSD & Trauma Relationships

Counselling for Armed Forces & NHS Staff in Plymouth

Post author By info@plymouthcounselling.com
Post date March 11, 2024

Feeling the Strain? Counselling Support in Plymouth for Those Who Serve

Are you a member of the armed forces, emergency services, NHS nurse or doctor, HM prison service feeling the weight of stress? You’re not alone. Plymouth is home to many heroes who dedicate themselves to keeping us safe and healthy. But even the strongest of us need support sometimes.

At PRC counselling practice on the Barbican in Plymouth, we specialise in providing confidential counselling and psychotherapy services tailored to the unique needs of service personnel and healthcare professionals. We understand the challenges you face, from the pressures of deployment to the emotional toll of daily emergencies.

Our experienced accredited therapists can help you with a variety of issues, including:

Stress and anxiety
PTSD (Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder)
Depression
Relationship problems
Work-life balance
Moral injury

We offer a safe and supportive space for you to explore your feelings and develop healthy coping mechanisms. We believe that everyone deserves to feel well, and we’re here to help support you in addressing your emotional wellbeing.

Here’s what sets us apart:

We understand your world. Our therapists have experience working with service personnel and healthcare professionals, and they are familiar with the specific challenges you face, both Steve and Nigel served in the armed forces.
We offer flexible appointments. We know that your schedule can be demanding, so we offer appointments at your convenience.
We are confidential. Everything you discuss in therapy will be kept confidential, except in limited circumstances where the law requires us to disclose information.

Don’t wait until you’re struggling to cope. Take the first step towards feeling better today with help from a counsellor or therapist at Plymouth Counselling.

Contact us for a free 15-minute phone consultation to discuss your needs.

Marriage & Long-Term Relationships Mindfulness and Mental Health PTSD & Trauma Relationships

Books Worth Reading About Mental Health

Post author By info@plymouthcounselling.com
Post date March 6, 2024

We’ve found the following books on mental health to be useful and want to share them with you. Mental health has many facets and choosing a book is subjective, it depends on individual needs and preferences. However, considering the main counselling issues brought to us here at PRC in Plymouth, we regard the following books on the topic the most informative.

For understanding trauma and its effects:

The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma by Bessel van der Kolk: This book explores the physical and psychological effects of trauma and offers evidence-based methods for healing.
What Happened to You? Conversations on Trauma, Resilience, and Healing by Bruce Perry and Oprah Winfrey: This book explores the impact of childhood trauma on mental and physical health and offers insights on building resilience and healing.

For managing anxiety and stress:

Maybe You Should Talk to Someone by Lori Gottlieb: This memoir by a therapist explores the experiences of both the therapist and the client, offering insights into therapy and mental health challenges.
The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook by Edmund J. Bourne: This practical guide provides self-help strategies for managing anxiety and phobias, including relaxation techniques, cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT), and exposure therapy.

For self-compassion and self-acceptance:

The Mindful Way Through Depression by Mark Williams and John Teasdale: This book teaches mindfulness-based cognitive therapy (MBCT) techniques for preventing and managing depression.
The Gifts of Imperfection by Brené Brown: This book explores the importance of vulnerability, self-compassion, and authenticity in mental and emotional well-being.

For navigating relationships and boundaries:

Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find–and Keep– Love by Amir Levine and Rachel S.F. Heller: This book explores attachment styles and their impact on romantic relationships.
Set Boundaries, Find Peace: A Guide to Reclaiming Yourself by Nedra Glover Tawwab: This book teaches readers how to set healthy boundaries in their personal and professional lives.

For memoirs and personal stories:

The Noonday Demon: An Atlas of Depression by Andrew Solomon: This Pulitzer Prize-winning book explores the history, science, and personal experience of depression.
Eleanor Oliphant is Completely Fine by Gail Honeyman: This heart-warming novel tells the story of a socially awkward woman who learns to connect with others.

If you are concerned about your own mental health, it is important to reach out to a qualified mental health professional. Here at PRC counselling in Plymouth we can offer a range of therapists who you can book an appointment with, or have an initial 15-minute chat, just to find out whether we can help you or guide you.

Here are some additional resources that you may find helpful:

The National Health Service (NHS) has a website with information about mental health – NHS UK
Mind is a mental health charity that provides information and support – Mind
The Samaritans is a charity that provides emotional support to anyone in distress – Samaritans