Category: Children & Young People

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The Power of Feeling Truly Heard: Why Listening Matters

Feeling truly heard is one of the most powerful human experiences. It reassures us that our thoughts, emotions, and stories matter. Yet, in a world full of distractions and instant responses, genuine listening has become rare. Relearning the art of listening isn’t just good communication – it strengthens relationships, improves wellbeing, and builds deeper trust.

Why Listening Matters More Than Ever
Modern life moves fast. We multitask, skim conversations, and often plan our response long before the other person has finished speaking. But real listening goes beyond simply hearing words. It means being present, curious, and open.

When someone feels truly heard, something meaningful happens:

  • They feel valued and understood
  • Their stress levels decrease
  • They gain clarity about their own thoughts
  • Communication flows more easily
  • Conflicts become easier to resolve

Active listening builds connection. It transforms conversations from transactions into moments of genuine human connection.

Listening Helps Build Stronger Relationships
Whether at work, with friends, or at home, listening is the foundation of trust. When people sense that they’re being dismissed or misunderstood, emotional distance forms quickly. But when we listen – really listen – we create a safe space for honesty and collaboration. This is particularly powerful in leadership, where employees who feel heard report higher engagement and loyalty.

It Boosts Your Emotional Intelligence
Great listeners are often great leaders. By paying attention not only to words but also to tone, body language, and emotions, you develop deeper empathy and insight. This helps you respond thoughtfully rather than react impulsively.

Listening Encourages Better Decision-Making
When you listen fully, you gain more information, notice patterns, and understand context. This leads to better problem-solving and fewer misunderstandings. In contrast, assumptions created from half-heard conversations often cause unnecessary complications.

How to Become a Better Listener
The good news? True listening is a skill anyone can develop. A few practical habits make a huge difference:

  • Maintain eye contact and stay present
  • Avoid interrupting or finishing sentences
  • Ask open questions that invite deeper conversation
  • Reflect back what you’ve heard to ensure understanding
  • Resist the urge to jump straight to advice-giving
  • Put away distractions – especially phones

These simple actions show respect and signal that you value the other person’s perspective.

Final Thoughts 💬
In a busy world, it’s easy to feel overlooked or unheard. Yet often, what people need most isn’t advice or quick solution – it’s the simple experience of speaking openly while someone truly listens.

When we talk to someone who listens without judgement or interruption, our thoughts can begin to untangle. Emotions that once felt overwhelming start to make more sense, and the act of putting feelings into words can create an immediate sense of clarity and relief. For many, this becomes the first meaningful step toward change.

This is the essence of counselling. It offers a calm, confidential space where you can explore what’s happening in your life, understand your feelings, and consider what might help you move forward. There’s no pressure, no expectations – just supportive, thoughtful conversation.

If you’re considering talking to someone, we offer a free 15‑minute phone consultation to help you explore your options and decide what feels right for you.

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Children & Young People Mindfulness and Mental Health Relationships

Finding Calm in a Busy Half Term: Simple Tips for Parents ✨

Half‑term arrives like a welcome pause… and then instantly becomes a whirlwind. School routines disappear, energy levels rise, and suddenly every parent is juggling playdates, days out, meals, screen-time negotiations, and the ever‑growing pile of laundry. It’s joyful – but it can be exhausting too.

If you’ve ever reached the end of a half‑term day wondering how you’re more tired than during the school week, you’re not alone. The good news: calm moments can exist inside the chaos. Here are some gentle, practical ways to find them.

✨ Redefine what “Calm” looks like

Calm doesn’t have to be a silent room, candlelit bath or solo walk (although those are lovely). Sometimes calm is:

  • Five quiet minutes with a coffee
  • Letting the kids watch a movie while you breathe
  • Sitting on the sofa while they build a den around you
  • A slow walk to the park without an agenda

When you stop imagining calm as a perfect scenario and start looking for it in small pockets, it becomes much easier to find.

🌿 Swap big days out for simple adventures

Half‑term often feels like pressure to do things. But children often enjoy the simple things just as much:

  • A picnic lunch in the living room
  • A puddle jumping walk
  • A board game hour
  • Baking something and enjoying the results as a treat

Simple plans mean less rushing, less packing, less spending – and more space to breathe.

⏱️ Keep one steady routine

When everything else is unpredictable, one small routine can anchor the day:

  • A morning walk
  • A specific quiet time after lunch
  • A family dinner no matter what
  • Ten minutes of tidying before bed

Predictability creates calm for both adults and children – especially during busy weeks.

🤝 Share the load (and let go of perfection)

You don’t have to be the entertainer, chef, chauffeur, and referee all at once. Let people help:

  • Divide days with a partner or family members
  • Organise a playdate swap with another parent
  • Accept that screen time can be a sanity saver
  • Lower the bar for a tidy house (it’s temporary!)

Half‑term isn’t a performance – it’s survival with a few fun highlights sprinkled in.

💛 Build moments for you

Kids get planned activities; adults deserve them too. Even something tiny makes a huge difference:

  • A chapter of your book
  • A favourite snack you don’t have to share
  • A short meditation
  • A phone call with a friend
  • A guilt‑free hour once the kids are in bed

Recharging is not selfish – it’s what helps you show up with more patience and presence.

🪄 Embrace the messy magic

Half‑term won’t be smooth. There will be noise, mess, last‑minute plans, and probably one meltdown (adult or child – no judgement!). But there will also be moments you’ll treasure:

  • Unplanned giggles
  • Warm little hands in yours
  • The joy on their faces when they try something new
  • The quiet cuddle at the end of a long day

Calm isn’t the absence of chaos – it’s the ability to find peace inside it.

💭 Final thought 

Half‑term doesn’t need to feel like a sprint. With a few gentle shifts; less pressure, simpler plans, tiny pauses – you can create space for calm and connection, even in the busiest days.

And if all else fails; remember, the week will end, routine will return, and you’ve done better than you think. 💛

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Addiction Children & Young People Gender & Sexuality Grieving & Loss Marriage & Long-Term Relationships Mindfulness and Mental Health PTSD & Trauma Relationships

🌿 How to Reset After an Argument

We have all been there. One minute you are having a normal conversation, and the next you are in the middle of an argument that feels bigger than it should be. Voices rise, feelings flare, and suddenly the original issue is buried under frustration.

But the good news?
You can reset an argument – without ignoring the problem, without “giving in,” and without letting resentment build. Here’s how to hit that emotional reset button so the conversation becomes productive again.

💛  Pause – do not push through the tension

When things heat up, our brains switch to “defend, attack, or retreat.”
That is not the mindset for solving anything.

A short pause like, “I want to finish this conversation, but I need a moment to calm down so I can actually hear you,”
can completely shift the energy.

It’s not avoidance. It’s strategy.

🗣 Name what is happening

A simple acknowledgment breaks the cycle:

  • “We’re going in circles.”
  • “This feels tense – can we start again?”
  • “I think we both want to fix this but we’re getting stuck.”

Calling it out invites’ teamwork instead of tug‑of‑war.

❤️ Return to the goal, not the drama

Most arguments go off‑track because we forget what we actually want.

Try saying:

  • “Let’s reset. What’s the real issue?”
  • “What do we both want here?”
  • “How can we solve this together?”

Suddenly, it is two people vs. the problem, not each other.

👂 Give each other space to speak (without preparing a rebuttal)

When you listen to respond, you are still arguing.
When you listen to understand, you are connecting.

Try slowing the conversation down:

  • One person shares their thoughts.
  • The other repeats back the key point to show they have understood.
  • Then switch roles.

It sounds simple, but it can be a breakthrough – completely shifting the tone of the conversation.

💬 Use reset language

These phrases cool down an argument instantly:

  • “Let’s start over.”
  • “Can we rewind a bit?”
  • “I didn’t say that well – let me try again.”
  • “I hear you. Here’s what I’m feeling.”

They invite a do‑over instead of a showdown.

🤝 Choose repair over being right

In the middle of a heated moment, ask yourself:

Do I want to win… or do I want us to be okay?

Resetting an argument is not about surrendering – it is about prioritising connection and understanding, so the real solution can emerge.

💭 Final thought

Arguments do not ruin relationships. The inability to repair them does.

A reset is not weakness – it is wisdom. It shows you care more about the relationship than the rush of being right.

Here is to more calm conversations, deeper understanding, and better “resets” for all of us. ✨

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Addiction Children & Young People Difference between Counselling & Psychotherapy Gender & Sexuality Grieving & Loss Marriage & Long-Term Relationships Mindfulness and Mental Health PTSD & Trauma Relationships

Change Often Starts Quietly 🌱

We like to think change arrives with fireworks – with big announcements, dramatic breakthroughs, or life‑altering events. But the truth? Most change begins in silence.

It starts in the small moments no one else sees; in the quiet corners of your mind where doubt lives – but courage grows.

  • Feeling the first hint of hope after a difficult period.
  • The morning you decide to try again.
  • The quiet “I can do better” whispered to yourself.
  • The tiny shift in perspective after a tough day.
  • The choice to take one small step, even when the road looks long.

These subtle moments are powerful. They are signs that something within you is adjusting, healing, or becoming ready for the next step.

Over time, those small internal shifts grow into healthier patterns, clearer boundaries, and a stronger sense of self. What once felt impossible gradually becomes manageable. What felt overwhelming begins to soften.

You do not have to navigate it alone. Counselling provides a supportive space to notice these early shifts, understand what they mean, and build on them with confidence. Over time, these small, consistent steps can lead to real progress and long‑lasting wellbeing.

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Addiction Children & Young People Difference between Counselling & Psychotherapy Gender & Sexuality Grieving & Loss Marriage & Long-Term Relationships Mindfulness and Mental Health PTSD & Trauma Relationships

The Power of Talking Things Through 💬

When worries, emotions, or difficult thoughts stay locked in our minds, they can feel heavier and harder to understand. Speaking them out loud – especially to someone who listens with empathy and without judgement – can bring clarity, relief, and a fresh perspective.

Talking things through helps you:

  • Untangle confusing thoughts
  • Understand your emotions more clearly
  • Feel less alone with your struggles
  • Take the first steps toward positive change
  • Gain confidence in moving forward

You don’t need to have everything figured out before reaching out. Simply beginning a conversation can be a powerful step toward feeling better.

If you’re curious about whether counselling might be right for you, we offer a free 15‑minute phone consultation. It’s an opportunity to connect, ask questions, and explore what supportive therapy could look like for your needs.

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Addiction Children & Young People Difference between Counselling & Psychotherapy Gender & Sexuality Grieving & Loss Marriage & Long-Term Relationships Mindfulness and Mental Health PTSD & Trauma Relationships

Compassionate, Personalised Support for Life’s Challenges 🌿

For more than 30 years, we’ve been walking alongside individuals, couples and organisations across Devon and Cornwall, offering support through many of life’s toughest moments.

We know that every person’s story is unique. That’s why our counselling is never one‑size‑fits‑all. We take the time to understand your experiences, your goals and what truly matters to you – shaping each session around your needs.

Our experienced team supports people with:

  • Relationship challenges
  • Anxiety and stress
  • Addiction
  • Bereavement and loss
  • Depression
  • Workplace pressures
  • Identity and life transitions
  • Menopause
  • Sexual health
  • Eating difficulties
  • Support for young people

If you’re thinking about counselling but aren’t quite sure yet, we offer a free 15‑minute phone conversation. It’s a relaxed, no‑pressure chance to ask any questions, explore your options and get a feel for what might be right for you.

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Why we started blogging

Over the years, we have had the privilege of sitting with people through some of their most vulnerable moments – heartbreak, confusion, grief, and growth. Each story is unique, but many share common threads: the need to feel heard, the desire for connection, and the courage to seek change.

Blogs are our way of extending that space beyond the counselling room. Whether you are navigating a relationship breakdown, supporting a young person through a tough time, or simply curious about how therapy works, we hope these posts offer insight, comfort, and maybe even a sense of companionship.

What you will find here; We write about the real-life issues that bring people to counselling:

  • Communication and Reconnection: How small shifts in how we listen and respond can rebuild trust and closeness.
  • Grief and Loss: Understanding the many forms grief can take, and how to move through it at your own pace.
  • Young People’s Challenges: From anxiety and identity to peer pressure and family dynamics – we explore what it is like growing up today.
  • Relationship Dynamics: Whether romantic, familial, or platonic, relationships shape us. We look at how they evolve, and how to nurture them.

Why it matters; We believe that healing begins with understanding – and sometimes, reading something that reflects your own experience can be the first step. Our hope is that our blogs feel like a gentle companion, offering clarity when things feel cloudy, and reminding you that you are not alone.

We are based in Looe Street, Plymouth, and always happy to chat in person when the time feels right for you. Until then, we invite you to explore, reflect, and reach out if something resonates.

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Addiction Children & Young People Difference between Counselling & Psychotherapy Featured Article Gender & Sexuality Grieving & Loss Marriage & Long-Term Relationships Mindfulness and Mental Health PTSD & Trauma Relationships

Is your counsellor a good fit for you?

There are so many counsellors offering a vast range of different therapies and approaches that it’s hard to know how to make the right choice, but it is so important that we do.

Finding the right counsellor, one who you can connect and feel safe with is important. Therapy can be a powerful tool for healing and growth, but only if you have a competent and trustworthy professional by your side. It can be difficult when we are feeling vulnerable and in need of help, to be confident enough to choose someone.

At Personal and Relationship Counselling (PRC) in Plymouth we offer a free 15-minute telephone consultation prior to booking a first appointment. Recommendations are good, but if you don’t have one, a telephone conversation can help and don’t be afraid to say ‘no thank you’, a good counsellor will be understanding – read about our counsellors on ‘Our Therapists’ page.

You can be assured that each counsellor has been handpicked, chosen for their competency and professionalism, empathy and compassion. We’ve checked their qualifications and experience, making sure that all are on the BACP Register of Counsellors and Psychotherapists or an equivalent professional body.

We offer a range of approaches and techniques to suit individual needs and find the fit that’s right for you. If we can’t meet your requirements, we will make recommendations of other trusted local Plymouth counsellors.

Here are some skills, traits and professional behaviours to look out for in your counsellor.

Good Counselling Skills:

  • Actively listening:  A good therapist will pay close attention to what you’re saying and ask clarifying questions. If you feel misunderstood or unheard – that’s a problem.
  • Focused attention: Does your therapist seem bored, tired, preoccupied or disengaged. If so, you’re not getting the focused attention you deserve.
  • Addressing Your Specific Concerns: Therapists should and be able to hear your issues and understand the impact they have on you, and tailor appropriate responses to meet your needs. If they seem stuck in one method or aren’t able to manage with your issue – you may need to find a better fit.
  • Non-judgemental:  Therapy needs to be a safe space to explore difficult emotions. If you feel judged or ashamed this isn’t going to help you – indicating it isn’t a good fit.
  • Working together: Therapy should be a collaborative process with your counsellor helping you to explore deeper and stay with the difficult feelings – rather than handing out simplistic, generic advice and platitudes.
  • Making progress: While you might experience some emotional discomfort processing difficult topics, you should generally feel some sense of healing and hope moving forward.

Maintaining Professional & Ethical standards:

  • Keeping to Appointment Times/Scheduling:  Having a regular time for your counselling is helpful. Frequent cancelling or rescheduling of appointments by your therapist shows a lack of respect for your time and can disrupt your progress in therapy.
  • Relevant Advice: Remember that therapists should stay within their area of expertise. If yours is giving medical, legal or financial advice – that’s not OK.
  • Confidentiality: Counsellors are required to keep your information private, with some exceptions. If you feel your therapist might be gossiping about you or sharing details inappropriately, that’s a concern.
  • Respecting Your Boundaries: If your counsellor shares too much personal information about themselves, pressures you to socialise outside of sessions, asks you for gifts or personal favours or makes unwanted physical contact – that’s a red flag.

Trust your instincts: Sometimes the chemistry just isn’t right. If you feel uncomfortable or unsafe with your therapist, it’s important to find someone else, someone you can connect with.  If you do notice any of the red flags and warning signs it’s time to look for a new therapist.

If you have any concerns, please feel free to contact us Plymouth Counselling (PRC).

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Addiction Children & Young People Gender & Sexuality Grieving & Loss Mindfulness and Mental Health PTSD & Trauma Relationships

Five Issues Often Experienced by Young People

We have been working with children and young people for many years, offering a safe place in which to explore the complex issues and emotional reactions to situations they find themselves in.

Young people are exploring the world and finding their place in it. They are forming identity, managing relationships and building resilience to the new situations they find themselves in. When things become difficult for someone young, it can feel like the world is collapsing around them. Not having the experience or the patience to trust in their ability to weather the storm, can lead to reactions that feel very frightening for themselves and their families.

The impact of the Covid regulations within education shouldn’t be underestimated. We have seen many young people who are struggling as a result of the isolation they have felt over the last few years. Social and physical activity help to form what we think about ourselves and differentiate us from others. It helps us to form bonds with ourselves, those around us and our environment. The opportunity for this has been missing over the last few years.

Young people can find themselves struggling with similar things to adults. What they are often lacking is the ability and experience to navigate their way to help and support, the insight to recognise it’s needed and the confidence to ask for it.

The following are some of the issues that young people and their families are often trying to make sense of;

Stress and Anxiety
At a time when life is changing quickly and there is pressure on young people to perform academically, stress and anxiety is commonly felt. Worry and anxiety displays in many ways: phobias, panic attacks, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), and social anxiety can be debilitating. Young people are often over conscious about how they look and how they are perceived by others. They often lack the confidence, emotional intelligence and self-esteem to be able to make sense of how they feel.

Family Problems
Family life can be turbulent, transitions and change are difficult for us all but especially for our children who can often feel powerless dealing with confusing emotions. This can lead to a withdrawal from loved ones as commonly they don’t want to add to the problems and their behaviour and demeanour can change. Parents understandably become very concerned and can also feel powerless. It is very important to parents that their children are ok and when they aren’t, all sorts of feelings and emotions start to surface, further adding to the tensions already felt.

Low Self-Esteem
As young people go through school, it is common for many to come up against problems within their relationships. School environments can facilitate an unhealthy comparison to others. This can lead many to believe they aren’t good enough and unable to express themselves in ways that support self-belief. A sense of low self-esteem can develop which can be further reinforced by social media. Young people often have experience of bullying and a feeling of isolation which can have a devastating impact on them, their families and their development.

Eating Disorders/Body Dysphoria
Eating disorders such as bulimia nervosa, anorexia nervosa, and body dysmorphia can surface as a coping mechanism against painful overwhelming emotions. They can be extremely worrying and sometimes life threatening. When they surface in our loved ones, the means to nurture through the offering of food is rejected. This is upsetting for all involved with the welfare of a young person. Disordered eating affects males and females but is most often reported in young girls.

Depression
Depression is the most common mental health disorder among young people, with research claiming that between eight and ten percent of teenagers experience symptoms at some point during their adolescence. When we feel low, we tend to withdraw from others and find it difficult to engage in social activity. Thoughts will focus on the negative and it can be difficult to feel that there is anything of value in ourselves and our lives. It is very worrying for families when a child loses an ability to feel joy and withdraws.

If you are a young person, parent or carer whose child is experiencing difficulty, please get in touch with us to arrange a free, no-obligation 15-minute phone consultation.