‘You Talkin to me?’ ‘Well I don’t see anyone else here!’

Some may recognise the title as a part quote of Robert De Niro in the Martin Scorsese 1976 cult status movie ‘Taxi Driver’. De Niro has an exchange with himself in a mirror where he acts out being a tough guy with his reflection. Just like De Niro our thoughts help us to predict and plan our responses to given situations, but sometimes what we tell ourselves is not only unkind but untrue. Negative self talk most often creeps up on us over time. We may not even realise the extent to which we are putting ourselves​ down.

If you want to change how you feel then a good place to start is by paying attention to what you say to yourself. Sometimes the lies you tell may be wrapped in a disguise of humour, you may say them in your head or out loud but however they are presented your unconscious self is hearing and believing. When we are told something enough we start to believe it.

Start to listen to the things that you say to and about yourself, see if there are words or phrases that keep repeating themselves that you are hearing. Notice where you are, are you alone? How do you feel about what you have just told yourself? Is it true? No? Acknowledge what you have said, challenge and dispute the lies you have told yourself perhaps for many years and start to replace them with the truth.

Start to change what you say in order to change how you feel.

Tracy Ede

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